I have been involved in online fat acceptance circles (at least lurking) since the days of soc.support.fat-acceptance since the early ’90s, and yet have never thrown my own hat into the ring until now. I am going through some serious upheaval in my personal life – cross-country relocation, marital uncertainty, career changes – and all this tumult has got me wanting to act in a more authentic, integrated way. So claiming a voice of authority on my own experience of fat is one way to do this.
The name of this blog has two meanings. One, I really AM the embodiment of fat: I weigh 270 pounds, I have thick thighs, a round stomach, saggy upper arms. I look like a before picture in a diet ad. My body is prototypically fat.
Secondly, I lived too long thinking that my fat was somehow separate from my body. That somehow my body was separate from my brain. I was raised in a family that believed just that, that thought that criticizing my body was not criticizing me. My adult life has been a struggle to overcome that abuse. My parents might not have meant it as abuse, but intent doesn’t erase impact, and a big goal of starting this blog is to name that abuse without hesitation.
So, this is just to get started. Now to get moving!